1 00:00:02,227 --> 00:00:07,227 English subtitles translated by thor@sg1.cz 2 00:00:07,227 --> 00:00:12,227 Timing by thor@sg1.cz Finally correction by Indy 3 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:18,160 Damn, are we about to see the film or not? 4 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:22,519 ... well Iīll turn it on ... 5 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,250 The Stargate fans? 6 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:36,250 Let's see, a Lots of people don't believe in them and many other jib only to admit their existances. 7 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:46,450 When they appeared for the first time, they were considerted with fear, suspicion and even with abhorrence. 8 00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:50,450 Are the fans the next link in the evolutionary chain ... 9 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:56,450 or only one other type of people, fighting for thier share of the world? 10 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:04,650 G8cz Films presents 11 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:10,650 in association with 12 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:16,850 a czech independent fanfilm 13 00:01:16,850 --> 00:01:23,550 based upon 14 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:28,650 directed by 15 00:01:42,164 --> 00:01:48,164 -How far are we? -After ennead galaxies, ennead nebula, ennead .... 16 00:01:48,164 --> 00:01:52,500 -Far far away! -Yes, Your dirty Squeamishness! 17 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,500 Well, I'm going to pound my ear. 18 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,700 -Can I make your bed? -No you can't! 19 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,700 SCRAPSOPHAGUS 20 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,900 Hell, what went wrong?! 21 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,080 grrrrr, damn it! 22 00:02:37,237 --> 00:02:42,237 PRAGUE CASTLE 23 00:02:49,031 --> 00:02:59,431 hmm... What an incredible nice ...hmm... sunday morning. A morning suitable for tenn... 24 00:02:59,531 --> 00:03:02,301 pardon, I mean sport. 25 00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:06,103 As you, mr. editor, surely know... 26 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:09,521 Darling, are you recorging it? ... 27 00:03:09,521 --> 00:03:19,521 To quote the classic: "Healthy mind in a healthy body" 28 00:03:19,603 --> 00:03:22,603 ... hmm ... which clever man could say that? 29 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,603 ... hmm ... Probably me. 30 00:03:27,199 --> 00:03:32,199 well, what shall we play today? 31 00:03:32,199 --> 00:03:36,502 maybe one of the newest hits. 32 00:03:36,502 --> 00:03:38,502 That's it. 33 00:03:56,478 --> 00:04:00,078 Damn,it's speeding up! 34 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:03,381 after a short while 35 00:04:04,232 --> 00:04:08,432 Darling, could you make me a cup of tea, please? 36 00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:10,032 Earl Gray, 37 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,832 Hot. 38 00:04:13,298 --> 00:04:17,562 My darling, are your still sleeping? 39 00:04:17,562 --> 00:04:22,562 I would become totally bald, sleeping so long as you do. 40 00:04:22,961 --> 00:04:27,961 Wake up, quiff! 41 00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,153 Watch the road! 42 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:52,153 If you buy the farm as the last time, I will burn off something worse on your forehead. 43 00:04:52,766 --> 00:04:57,066 As you wish, Your Slimy Snakeness. 44 00:04:59,787 --> 00:05:07,787 ...hmm... what a terrible noise? What is this? who can exercises in this noise. 45 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,616 Breakfast, darling. 46 00:05:23,384 --> 00:05:25,384 ooh my god!!! .. 47 00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:32,904 How many time did I tell you to call me by fist name at home, darling? 48 00:05:35,904 --> 00:05:43,104 Oh darling! I can stand "Kree", it's our dog's name 49 00:05:43,104 --> 00:05:48,104 Right, Kree? Good boy. 50 00:05:49,904 --> 00:05:54,004 But "Ha-shak"? Thatīs too much. 51 00:05:54,004 --> 00:05:57,804 They don't call me this way even in tennis club. 52 00:06:00,173 --> 00:06:04,173 What are you doing here, mister?? 53 00:06:04,173 --> 00:06:08,673 Can you explain me, why do you yell on me like that?? 54 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:16,852 If you are sent by the prime minister, tell him this already an awkward joke. 55 00:06:16,852 --> 00:06:22,452 I take over the bumber ski without any words,... 56 00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:26,352 but enough is enough! 57 00:06:26,961 --> 00:06:28,590 Come with THEM 58 00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:29,628 ... err ... US ... 59 00:06:29,628 --> 00:06:31,008 no ... with ME. 60 00:06:31,008 --> 00:06:36,608 So with whom? Decide quickly, I haven't whole day for you. 61 00:06:37,228 --> 00:06:40,028 With me!! 62 00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:46,040 My searching is at end. 63 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,040 The everlasting essence of energy is now mine. 64 00:06:50,486 --> 00:06:55,086 You canīt evade my master. 65 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,503 StarGejt Duty Call for team 8.5 66 00:08:00,921 --> 00:08:03,207 Colonel, wake up. 67 00:08:03,207 --> 00:08:04,846 Colonel! 68 00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:06,661 Jones! 69 00:08:06,661 --> 00:08:11,161 Who disturbes me so damn early in the morning? 70 00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:16,006 It's me, general Hammond. Do you remember? 71 00:08:16,506 --> 00:08:20,906 Oh, so lively hallucination I haven't got any for a long long time. 72 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:24,541 I'm not a hallucination, colonel. 73 00:08:24,541 --> 00:08:27,541 Really? 74 00:08:32,423 --> 00:08:34,025 So, where are you? 75 00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:37,400 Here, colonel! 76 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,671 Oh crap, where is it, "here"? 77 00:08:40,671 --> 00:08:44,299 Jesus! Here, in your wardrobe! 78 00:08:44,299 --> 00:08:49,299 And not so loud. I' m here on the sly. 79 00:08:53,056 --> 00:08:56,094 What are you doing there, general? 80 00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,725 -How did you get in there? -It doesnīt matter... 81 00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:02,428 This is a top secret conversation. 82 00:09:02,428 --> 00:09:04,552 I see, what's the pitch? 83 00:09:04,552 --> 00:09:07,200 Let me guess, the Base is in the lack of beer again. 84 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,041 Something much worse. 85 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:12,013 Carter is preggers again, isn't she? 86 00:09:12,013 --> 00:09:14,230 No, worse. 87 00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:16,984 With Teal'f!? 88 00:09:16,984 --> 00:09:19,669 Oh, much worse. 89 00:09:19,669 --> 00:09:22,133 With you?! 90 00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:26,437 Far from it! Goa'ulds kidnapped Mr. President! 91 00:09:26,437 --> 00:09:28,989 Tss, they can put him on ice. 92 00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:32,169 Not ours, the Czech one. 93 00:09:32,169 --> 00:09:35,682 The incredible international crisis is at stake. 94 00:09:35,682 --> 00:09:38,794 Oh, half-assed. 95 00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:45,594 You and your team have the top priority task. Find the Czech president and bring him back to Earth. 96 00:09:45,594 --> 00:09:48,550 Roger that, but for special allowance. 97 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:51,495 I don't scuffle on Sundays, usually. 98 00:09:51,495 --> 00:09:53,120 I take it into account. 99 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,808 The breifcase with money is waiting in the scarp behind the city, near the pond. 100 00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,729 The car is ready in front of your home. 101 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:06,529 Well, the runner will probably miss and I will have to go for it to that devils dousabel's, over fence, again. 102 00:10:07,245 --> 00:10:09,082 You s-o-b!!!... 103 00:10:09,082 --> 00:10:14,082 .... What do you think you are doing!!!! 104 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,680 Letīs say, I'll send out Daniel this time. 105 00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:28,913 BATTLESUIT HANDS OFF!! 106 00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:39,244 So, this will be cool! 107 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,920 Sunday driver!!! 108 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,920 Shove off!! 109 00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:23,284 Where the hell did they send me to? 110 00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:28,284 Travelling, again and again! 111 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:34,810 What a map?! 112 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:39,810 There is of no use. May be...some kind of a riddle ... 113 00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:41,657 ... in goaīuld 114 00:12:41,657 --> 00:12:43,657 TWO MAPS LATER 115 00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:50,582 -Itīs upside down Jack. -I nearly got it. 116 00:12:51,339 --> 00:12:55,355 Jonash?? Hi, what are you doing here? 117 00:12:55,355 --> 00:12:58,937 Iīm ordered to go on the mission with you. 118 00:12:58,937 --> 00:13:02,216 In the meantime I have some time off, so I do a little cleaning here. 119 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,862 Here?! 120 00:13:04,862 --> 00:13:07,202 I supposed to be dated by major Carter here. 121 00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:12,202 You know. Hamond stopped to pay the rent, thus we had to move SGC into some cheaper place. 122 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:16,861 For crying out loud, itīs the fifth time this year. March not yet!! 123 00:13:16,861 --> 00:13:21,861 Well, break and run inside and bring major Carter, will ya? We have the mission. 124 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,400 OK 125 00:13:34,094 --> 00:13:35,282 Hi Jack. 126 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,282 Colonel. 127 00:13:37,886 --> 00:13:39,257 Where is Teal'f? 128 00:13:39,257 --> 00:13:42,003 He is searching for his lucky Staffy, sir. 129 00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:43,964 -Who hid it again? -It was Jonash Queen. 130 00:13:43,964 --> 00:13:45,635 Squeaker!! 131 00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:47,235 Greasygrind! 132 00:13:59,656 --> 00:14:01,774 Give me my staff weapon! 133 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,698 I wonīt. It's mine. 134 00:14:03,698 --> 00:14:08,085 Your unjust enrichment of this staff weapon will be very soon terminated. 135 00:14:08,085 --> 00:14:09,049 No, it won't. 136 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,649 Are you sure? 137 00:14:12,179 --> 00:14:14,679 Teal'f, you hit me. 138 00:14:15,977 --> 00:14:20,077 He doesn't seem to be accompanying us today. 139 00:14:20,322 --> 00:14:23,558 Enough, kids. We have something more important to do. 140 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:28,010 We must find one eminent politican from one God-forsaken country. 141 00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:33,010 Personaly I don't know where is it. May be ... in Russian Siberia ... no matter. 142 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:35,577 Any idea where start our searching? 143 00:14:35,577 --> 00:14:37,762 Me... here ... take me! 144 00:14:37,762 --> 00:14:41,086 -Really nobody has an idea?? -here .. me ... 145 00:14:41,086 --> 00:14:42,683 Yes, Daniel? 146 00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:52,583 The Tokīra say, that he has been captured by an evil Systemlord, named Hammucrappy. Heīs kept on his secret base on PX-0609112777. 147 00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:56,427 Well, that was easy. 148 00:14:57,494 --> 00:15:00,811 I heard about Hammucrappy in the Blaffa legends. 149 00:15:00,811 --> 00:15:03,642 Daniel! What legends ? 150 00:15:03,642 --> 00:15:06,942 Teal'f lent me a book. 151 00:15:08,002 --> 00:15:11,633 Well, did you packed all my baggage? 152 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:13,001 Completely. 153 00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,714 Towels? 154 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,992 Yes, sir. 155 00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:17,724 Class V. supplies? 156 00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:19,467 Inside. 157 00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:23,320 Snake repellant? You know, how much I hate them. 158 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,860 Packed. 159 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:27,560 Excellent. Beer? 160 00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:33,531 And phasers? 161 00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:35,563 Sorry, sir. 162 00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:37,563 Blast it! 163 00:15:41,575 --> 00:15:47,175 Today - you are the pack mules. 164 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:56,401 But first. Carter, analysis! 165 00:15:57,247 --> 00:16:05,453 well... From the global point of view is this problem absolutely trivial, including morale values of compromise. In this case we don't need to apply ... 166 00:16:05,453 --> 00:16:11,097 No, No! Stop, Stop it! Try it once more and simply. 167 00:16:11,097 --> 00:16:12,981 When-should-we-start-out? 168 00:16:12,981 --> 00:16:17,981 Probably ... now?? 169 00:16:57,268 --> 00:17:00,768 Damn, what a trip, like in a mixer. 170 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,027 My make-upīs screwed! 171 00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:04,538 Letīs do it again! 172 00:17:04,538 --> 00:17:06,018 NO! 173 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:33,430 Look! Thereīs someting there! 174 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:41,630 Damn, I can't see anythig. You must be mistaken 175 00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:44,003 ... May I, sir ... 176 00:17:46,511 --> 00:17:50,554 Oh, now, something appears. 177 00:17:50,554 --> 00:17:53,554 What a weirdo building. 178 00:17:55,093 --> 00:17:57,422 Let's take a slam at it. 179 00:17:57,922 --> 00:18:02,622 "take a slant", Teal'f. 180 00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:17,250 Oh my God ... an ancient - Ancient building ... it must be ... well, at least a million years old. 181 00:18:17,744 --> 00:18:20,546 fair well-preserved inscriptions ... 182 00:18:20,546 --> 00:18:24,532 It can mean only one thing ... [I WANT TO FUCK] 183 00:18:24,532 --> 00:18:27,932 ... THE MEANING OF LIFE! [I WANT TO FUCK] 184 00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:33,975 Lucky me ... I brought an encyclopaedia with me. 185 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,775 ... Greece ... Rome ... 186 00:18:37,775 --> 00:18:42,775 ...where are damn Ancients?! 187 00:18:43,128 --> 00:18:48,128 Jesus Christ, watch this! 188 00:19:16,627 --> 00:19:23,527 After several hours of boring hogwashes about Ancients left Jack Daniel at the excavations and has started to explore the surrounding area with rest of his team... 189 00:19:26,538 --> 00:19:31,538 Where are you lallygaging?? Build the base camp before it gets dark! 190 00:19:33,043 --> 00:19:36,547 And be done 'til Iīm back. 191 00:19:36,547 --> 00:19:40,045 Understood, sir. 192 00:20:03,313 --> 00:20:08,313 Enemies! That could be expected. 193 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,549 So Santa... 194 00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:26,849 hmm ... But this is a great, really great mistake ... hmmm ... There is no affiliation between me and that fat present-giver. 195 00:20:26,849 --> 00:20:29,849 What presents?? I like presents very much. 196 00:20:30,055 --> 00:20:33,307 Especially those for me. 197 00:20:33,307 --> 00:20:39,639 First you must know, my name is KLAUS, no Claus... 198 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,539 Of course, Santa... 199 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:57,580 Which button is the right one ... it had been the green one, but it disappeared... red?? ... of course, this one. 200 00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:12,572 Master is calling. 201 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:16,960 Yes, your highest devilish Squeamishness. 202 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,883 Intruders are here! 203 00:21:18,883 --> 00:21:23,883 Where?? Hereīs only me and Santa.. Aren't they hidden in that corner?? 204 00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,559 On the planet, fool! 205 00:21:27,559 --> 00:21:29,459 And exactly who is intruded?? 206 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:34,560 Just launch the gliders to patrol the area. 207 00:21:35,507 --> 00:21:40,507 Hey Santa, do you know which button opens hangar? 208 00:21:40,827 --> 00:21:45,827 hmm ... Do I have to remeber you my name isn't Santa?! 209 00:21:48,735 --> 00:21:55,264 While Daniel Skywalker was working like a Trojan all night to discover the secret legacy of the old-time buildings left here by Ancients, 210 00:21:55,264 --> 00:22:01,707 the rest of team has taken up a strategic defensive positions and has been guarding the camp to morning cock-crowing. 211 00:22:01,707 --> 00:22:04,407 yeeh, which jay wrote this?! 212 00:22:48,177 --> 00:22:49,877 Morning 213 00:22:50,593 --> 00:22:54,052 Guys, guys, I found someting incredible. 214 00:22:54,052 --> 00:22:58,052 You won't believed it! 215 00:23:01,578 --> 00:23:07,578 Daniel, I hope itīs not a frozen dog ... you know ... like the last time. 216 00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:19,834 Something has moved in that bush. I saw it. 217 00:23:19,864 --> 00:23:23,409 They are among us. I always know it. 218 00:23:23,409 --> 00:23:25,361 The truth is out there ... 219 00:23:25,361 --> 00:23:28,659 ... in that bush! 220 00:23:28,659 --> 00:23:32,347 It must be the son of a bitch, tha stole our equipment! 221 00:23:32,347 --> 00:23:35,347 Let's sap up on him! 222 00:24:19,072 --> 00:24:24,072 Well, Daniel, what actually did you bring us? 223 00:24:24,417 --> 00:24:31,817 So, this time it is something so prodigious, nice and unimaginable, that even I don't know what is it. 224 00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:35,662 It is ... It is ... 225 00:24:35,662 --> 00:24:38,017 Hell, what is it?? 226 00:24:38,017 --> 00:24:45,117 It's such ... You know... It's the ... no, that one. 227 00:24:46,628 --> 00:24:51,628 Use the FORCE, you Charlies. 228 00:24:51,905 --> 00:24:54,335 THOR'S HAMMER! 229 00:24:54,335 --> 00:24:57,333 Fascinating. But shall we do with it? 230 00:24:57,333 --> 00:25:04,133 Only the nature of this thing is superior to my astro-physical-chemical-geo-mathematic-atomistic skills. 231 00:25:05,026 --> 00:25:11,526 I may be a little off-topic, but I would simply use it to neil up. 232 00:25:17,162 --> 00:25:20,162 I'm silent alraedy... 233 00:25:20,521 --> 00:25:25,521 Teal'f, do we have any more hints? 234 00:25:30,216 --> 00:25:35,216 Whose that? 235 00:25:36,862 --> 00:25:41,862 It's your friend on the radio set, Jack. 236 00:25:45,492 --> 00:25:49,092 Hammondīs calling. 237 00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:53,237 That was quick. 238 00:25:53,237 --> 00:26:02,721 eeee ... Yes, sir ... eee ... No, sir ... aah ... sure, sir ... no... 239 00:26:02,721 --> 00:26:07,656 -Yeah ,I'll pass. It's for you Daniel. -For me? 240 00:26:07,656 --> 00:26:17,442 Yes, general? ... No, general... yes ... yes, general ... 241 00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:25,371 No, no general, I'm afraid I have no time this evening. No, sorry. 242 00:26:25,371 --> 00:26:29,371 So long, general. 243 00:26:31,414 --> 00:26:36,642 Well, we have here an incredible powerful weapon, 244 00:26:36,642 --> 00:26:41,642 that can destroy all life if used in the wrong hands. 245 00:26:42,082 --> 00:26:46,748 Great power brings a great responsibility. 246 00:26:46,748 --> 00:26:52,261 Thus The Asgard will come to pick it up. We should meet them after weīre done here. 247 00:26:52,261 --> 00:26:53,575 Fair enough. 248 00:26:53,575 --> 00:26:58,003 But how did general come to know we had found the hammer? 249 00:26:58,003 --> 00:27:03,003 Probably Mayborne, FBI, KGB, NSA ... They are everywhere in our age. 250 00:27:04,073 --> 00:27:09,073 Or itīs because I sent an SMS to the general. 251 00:27:11,418 --> 00:27:13,064 Can I have a look? 252 00:27:13,064 --> 00:27:18,562 NO! It's only mine. My love. It's my precious!!! 253 00:27:18,562 --> 00:27:23,562 -And this is MINE! -OK, here you are. 254 00:27:27,489 --> 00:27:34,646 From now on, Daniel Skywalker, we are under an obligation to protect this powerful relic! 255 00:27:34,646 --> 00:27:39,646 From now on as the Fellowships of the Hammer! 256 00:28:15,642 --> 00:28:19,805 hmm... At last you switched on the lights. 257 00:28:19,805 --> 00:28:23,778 I raise an objection. 258 00:28:23,778 --> 00:28:28,885 Even my wife don't treat the prisoners such ruthless as you do. 259 00:28:28,885 --> 00:28:39,250 After my lawyers end with you, you wonīt get out of the prison in thousands of years! 260 00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:41,882 Exactly so long you will serve US. 261 00:28:41,882 --> 00:28:44,377 Kneel, maggot! 262 00:28:44,377 --> 00:28:50,299 Santa can't, your cruel Monstrosity has ordered to tie him up. 263 00:28:50,299 --> 00:28:55,299 Well, I can forgive you this time, you lower life form. 264 00:29:02,868 --> 00:29:07,331 And now Iīll tell you, why you are here. 265 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:11,759 hmm ... A good idea. It has been concerning me some while. 266 00:29:11,759 --> 00:29:18,960 I used to be glorious and powerfull Systemlord. Crowds used to adore me. 267 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:26,423 Then slaves, mining naquada for me died. Most probably of old age. 268 00:29:26,423 --> 00:29:32,059 hmmm arthralgia, tonsillitis hmmm slippery things 269 00:29:32,059 --> 00:29:35,362 Stop disrupting me!!! 270 00:29:35,362 --> 00:29:37,109 hmmm sorry 271 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:43,219 Well .. No naquada, no fuel for my ship. I was looking for a substitute for quite a long time. 272 00:29:43,219 --> 00:29:48,219 Only with help of my friend from Dallas, I have been able to fly - using petrol. 273 00:29:48,706 --> 00:29:50,628 But now - I have a solution. 274 00:29:50,628 --> 00:29:53,426 hmm ... I completely agree. 275 00:29:53,426 --> 00:30:02,126 Using petrol in these days is really unprofitable. But whatīs my part in this game? 276 00:30:03,341 --> 00:30:06,630 I saw it the Matrix movie and I pretty liked it. 277 00:30:06,630 --> 00:30:12,630 I don't want to use my last slave, he is such old skin. 278 00:30:13,443 --> 00:30:15,443 hmmm 279 00:30:16,408 --> 00:30:19,146 You are our new battery! 280 00:30:19,146 --> 00:30:24,146 Energy for our ship for the next thousnd years. 281 00:30:26,944 --> 00:30:29,422 Will I get some presents?? 282 00:30:29,422 --> 00:30:34,067 Shut up, blaffa! youīll get the earthlings! 283 00:30:34,067 --> 00:30:38,067 No-oo... earthlings no... 284 00:30:54,241 --> 00:30:57,241 Whatīs going on? 285 00:31:03,834 --> 00:31:08,834 Farewell Sam, don't forget me! 286 00:31:08,845 --> 00:31:13,845 Call me tomorrow. 287 00:31:19,986 --> 00:31:21,900 Carter?? 288 00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:26,900 So what? Itīs the first contact. 289 00:31:28,743 --> 00:31:33,043 Holly shit... take cover! 290 00:31:40,828 --> 00:31:44,028 So. Now those cruds overshoot the mark. 291 00:31:47,052 --> 00:31:52,252 Teal'f, return fire. 292 00:32:14,050 --> 00:32:19,050 Good aim. 293 00:32:21,583 --> 00:32:24,761 After a while. 294 00:32:25,316 --> 00:32:26,416 Over there. 295 00:32:26,416 --> 00:32:32,005 Ha-Ha-tak class mothership. 296 00:32:32,005 --> 00:32:39,405 16 laser turrets, 3 TTs, 2 latrines, hyperdrive engine and one gummy-bear launcher. 297 00:32:40,682 --> 00:32:41,727 Gummy-bears? 298 00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:46,227 Yes, they don't kill, only stun. 299 00:32:50,623 --> 00:32:52,628 Well, any suggestions? 300 00:32:52,628 --> 00:32:55,014 I would try to negotiate. 301 00:32:55,014 --> 00:33:02,262 If you permit, sir, we can transform our pocket neutron annealing box into an iont disruptor with a high energy content. 302 00:33:02,262 --> 00:33:11,245 I could make an energy field with enought strength to force their ship to land by canalizing the tachion pulses. 303 00:33:11,245 --> 00:33:15,541 well... I would try little difrerent taktics. 304 00:33:15,541 --> 00:33:20,041 Teal'f, fire. 305 00:33:24,965 --> 00:33:28,731 Jones, weīre out of ammunition. 306 00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:30,329 I could reroute our ... 307 00:33:30,329 --> 00:33:33,829 Forget it, sister! 308 00:33:43,839 --> 00:33:46,739 Somewhere in space near the PX-0609112777 309 00:34:12,335 --> 00:34:17,046 Captain, they are hailing us. 310 00:34:17,046 --> 00:34:23,646 On screen. Well, Rather audio only. 311 00:34:24,204 --> 00:34:26,201 Hi there, Jean-Luc. 312 00:34:26,201 --> 00:34:29,099 Jones calling, have you a while off? 313 00:34:29,099 --> 00:34:33,714 I have the yummy tea you wanted. 314 00:34:33,714 --> 00:34:35,600 Thank you, colonel. 315 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:41,693 You see. We have some troubles with a Goaīuld We need a little help. 316 00:34:41,693 --> 00:34:44,800 Could you beam me here a really big bang-bang? 317 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,600 Thanks. Jones out. 318 00:34:49,539 --> 00:34:55,239 Geordi, deliver it in person. 319 00:34:56,063 --> 00:35:01,063 Post-office crew is so young and green. 320 00:35:01,950 --> 00:35:03,783 But wait a moment. 321 00:35:03,783 --> 00:35:05,900 Aye aye, Captain. 322 00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:10,900 Number one, guard that seat for me. I'm going to find some really BIG box. 323 00:35:18,621 --> 00:35:23,321 Here it is. It has been under my bed. 324 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:42,480 Enwrap it nicely for them! 325 00:35:44,423 --> 00:35:47,803 Thank you pal, I owe you one. 326 00:35:47,803 --> 00:35:52,803 Beam it down. Engage! 327 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:08,841 Sir, I recommend to destroy their repulsors. 328 00:36:08,841 --> 00:36:14,841 Well ... you know what? ... if you so clever... do it by yourself, yes??!!! 329 00:36:30,081 --> 00:36:35,081 Jehoshaphat, she hit it! 330 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,834 We are hit. 331 00:36:42,834 --> 00:36:45,434 Ship is out of control. 332 00:36:45,434 --> 00:36:48,186 And it means quite a big schemozzle. 333 00:36:48,186 --> 00:36:55,886 "Dear Comrades, please pay attention to this announcement. ABANDON THE SHIP! Thank you." 334 00:36:56,659 --> 00:36:58,059 My little nice ship. 335 00:36:58,059 --> 00:36:59,761 No, It canīt be!!. 336 00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:04,667 Lord, come on. You can steal another one, prettier one. 337 00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:09,667 Don't cry, come, we haven't time to spare. 338 00:37:13,529 --> 00:37:18,529 One more moment.. My nice little ship. 339 00:37:19,856 --> 00:37:26,291 Master, hurry up. You will be certainly wellcome in the next parallel dimesion. 340 00:37:27,591 --> 00:37:28,946 Like hell I will. 341 00:37:28,946 --> 00:37:32,284 Last time those natives nearly cut me into the soup. 342 00:37:32,284 --> 00:37:36,567 weīll use rather an Escape Pod. And the terrestrials will pay for this! 343 00:37:36,567 --> 00:37:41,567 As you wish, your highfalutin Vanity. 344 00:37:49,527 --> 00:37:52,440 Look there .. an escape pod! 345 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:57,440 Let's find it. That son of a bitch must not escape us. 346 00:38:01,262 --> 00:38:02,451 After a while 347 00:38:02,451 --> 00:38:03,071 Come out of there! 348 00:38:03,071 --> 00:38:04,066 No 349 00:38:04,066 --> 00:38:05,761 Get out! 350 00:38:05,761 --> 00:38:08,761 hmmm Not for worlds. 351 00:38:12,255 --> 00:38:16,885 I will never forgive it to you. My revenge will be bloody. 352 00:38:16,885 --> 00:38:19,023 Well ... If I'll find you. 353 00:38:19,023 --> 00:38:21,258 What's the matter? 354 00:38:21,258 --> 00:38:25,242 Hope, someone comes to save me. 355 00:38:25,242 --> 00:38:30,242 But if I wanted, I would menage to emerge by myself. 356 00:38:30,831 --> 00:38:35,831 Even I can be out of patience. 357 00:38:42,104 --> 00:38:45,104 There are they - overthere. 358 00:39:54,411 --> 00:39:59,011 Teal'f, use the Hammer. 359 00:39:59,298 --> 00:40:04,298 Thanks, dad. 360 00:40:29,336 --> 00:40:34,320 Halloo.. Is there anybody?? Please, unlace me. 361 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:39,320 This is me. Im blameless. 362 00:40:40,124 --> 00:40:43,469 well..at last...what a time! 363 00:40:43,469 --> 00:40:44,925 Where did he go? 364 00:40:44,925 --> 00:40:47,149 I have no idea. 365 00:40:47,149 --> 00:40:53,049 He may shrink you. I would not leave my home with your chivvy. 366 00:40:57,091 --> 00:41:01,691 So, where did he go? And don't talk bullshit! 367 00:41:01,943 --> 00:41:06,943 Frankly speaking, He is behind you. 368 00:41:07,848 --> 00:41:09,560 Cut the crap! 369 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,280 You don't caught me in the toils. 370 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:17,280 hmm I really, really have no reason to lie to you. 371 00:41:31,282 --> 00:41:36,282 Hey, release my battery! Or Iīll kill him. 372 00:41:38,302 --> 00:41:43,302 Don't listen to him, Jack. You must save the Pre... 373 00:41:47,823 --> 00:41:53,923 On my command, shoot the goauld. 374 00:42:00,210 --> 00:42:05,021 So .. kill him if you wish. 375 00:42:05,021 --> 00:42:08,455 Don't you really want to consider it again? 376 00:42:08,455 --> 00:42:11,776 I also didnīt mean it. 377 00:42:11,776 --> 00:42:16,776 Teal'f, now. 378 00:42:23,552 --> 00:42:27,451 oh my God, he killed Daniel. 379 00:42:27,451 --> 00:42:31,176 That bastard! 380 00:42:31,176 --> 00:42:36,176 Teal'f, what have I told you?? 381 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:41,240 Nothing. 382 00:42:51,002 --> 00:42:55,618 You saw it? Daniel ascended!!! 383 00:42:55,618 --> 00:42:58,618 At last. 384 00:43:00,265 --> 00:43:04,865 Jones, I'm going to spook you. 385 00:44:01,442 --> 00:44:03,770 Now you overshoot the mark, snake! 386 00:44:03,770 --> 00:44:08,770 Step back. It's only between him and me. 387 00:44:11,221 --> 00:44:13,844 Not you, 388 00:44:13,844 --> 00:44:16,161 THEM! 389 00:44:16,161 --> 00:44:20,928 Oh, sorry 390 00:44:20,928 --> 00:44:26,128 Well, come along! 391 00:44:29,454 --> 00:44:32,825 This is for Daniel, monster. 392 00:44:32,825 --> 00:44:36,624 Fight back. 393 00:44:36,624 --> 00:44:39,624 Too hot. 394 00:45:26,264 --> 00:45:31,264 Oh shit. Never buy at flea market. 395 00:46:44,616 --> 00:46:47,416 After 48 minutes. 396 00:46:50,802 --> 00:46:52,543 Let's change tactics. 397 00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:56,941 OK ... you reckon. 398 00:46:56,941 --> 00:47:06,441 one ... two ... three ... four ... and I'll go. 399 00:47:13,815 --> 00:47:18,457 Where are you? 400 00:47:18,457 --> 00:47:23,457 Here. 401 00:47:24,653 --> 00:47:29,853 No. Here. 402 00:47:45,142 --> 00:47:50,142 Thanks god I have my thrusty - whip. 403 00:47:55,102 --> 00:48:00,102 Damn 404 00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:29,683 Someone's calling. 405 00:48:29,683 --> 00:48:34,683 Teal'f, hand me the radio set. 406 00:48:39,523 --> 00:48:40,935 Thanks. 407 00:48:40,935 --> 00:48:44,721 Jones, Hot Line, speak, please. 408 00:48:44,721 --> 00:48:53,521 hmm...You took it at last. ... hmm... I tried to call you twice. Twice! 409 00:48:53,523 --> 00:49:00,123 And you have still the voicebox there. Are you sleeping there?? 410 00:49:01,033 --> 00:49:03,142 Something like that. 411 00:49:03,142 --> 00:49:06,410 What's up? You haven't been on Earth yet? 412 00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:11,410 hmm... No, I am really,really not. 413 00:49:13,407 --> 00:49:16,412 Pass me Carter, please. 414 00:49:16,412 --> 00:49:23,412 This incompetent huzzy of yours left me here a while ago. 415 00:49:23,412 --> 00:49:29,312 And now she is certainly billing and cooing with that tatooed ninja somewhere in bushes. 416 00:49:30,405 --> 00:49:32,540 He has survived? 417 00:49:32,540 --> 00:49:33,762 That's a run go... 418 00:49:33,762 --> 00:49:40,462 Look, go down main road to those strange buildings, yes? 419 00:49:41,006 --> 00:49:47,306 Then at the third tree on the left and still straight ahead. You can't miss it, the big gray ring with symbols. 420 00:49:47,948 --> 00:49:58,985 hmmm ... What an awful behaviour. I'm politican and top sportsman, but surely not a ... 421 00:49:58,985 --> 00:50:03,985 hmmm ... that goon rang off. 422 00:50:04,390 --> 00:50:10,899 hmmm... How did he say it? A big ring? 423 00:50:10,899 --> 00:50:14,699 He could call for a taxi! 424 00:50:19,808 --> 00:50:23,608 Damn, where is he?? 425 00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:37,600 Thor, buddy! 426 00:50:42,755 --> 00:50:45,893 Supreme buddy! 427 00:50:45,893 --> 00:50:49,066 We have already expected you. 428 00:50:49,066 --> 00:50:53,684 Sorry for being late. I had some things to do. 429 00:50:53,684 --> 00:50:56,495 You know, the replicator war is culminating now. 430 00:50:56,495 --> 00:51:01,695 THOR'S BRACER the best beer in this corner of Galaxy 431 00:51:06,036 --> 00:51:09,953 Do you have a smidge of that? 432 00:51:09,953 --> 00:51:12,336 As you wish 433 00:51:12,336 --> 00:51:17,336 There will be more for me. 434 00:51:25,527 --> 00:51:31,527 You saved our and even your Galaxy. The Asgard are forever in your debt. 435 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:37,620 As reward, you can marry my daughter. Say, which of you? 436 00:51:47,178 --> 00:51:52,178 -You! -Noooooooooooooo! 437 00:51:56,130 --> 00:51:58,401 uff .. poor guy! 438 00:51:58,401 --> 00:52:00,544 I'll find him later. 439 00:52:00,544 --> 00:52:02,401 Goodbye, Jones. 440 00:52:02,401 --> 00:52:07,401 and May The Force be with you. 441 00:52:21,829 --> 00:52:25,106 Where are you slinking, snake? 442 00:52:25,106 --> 00:52:29,406 Geez. 443 00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:42,640 Damn, what address leads home? 444 00:52:45,434 --> 00:52:50,434 Where do I have that blasted paper? 445 00:52:51,069 --> 00:52:55,604 It must be hereabout... 446 00:52:55,604 --> 00:52:56,904 ... wow, a map ... 447 00:53:37,085 --> 00:53:39,089 My demon is GONE. 448 00:53:39,089 --> 00:53:41,082 I'm free. Hurray! 449 00:53:41,082 --> 00:53:43,127 You crud! 450 00:53:43,127 --> 00:53:45,132 Bad shit! 451 00:53:45,132 --> 00:53:50,132 Give it to me! 452 00:54:01,128 --> 00:54:03,905 So, Letīs go before our lunch turns cold. 453 00:54:03,905 --> 00:54:08,905 -That one can't already harm anybody. -Right 454 00:54:10,641 --> 00:54:12,803 And what about Carter? 455 00:54:12,803 --> 00:54:17,289 Don't worry. She will come back. 456 00:54:17,289 --> 00:54:20,780 But in nine month, Iīll be an uncle. 457 00:54:20,780 --> 00:54:25,780 Certainly. 458 00:55:09,145 --> 00:55:11,298 Hi Jonash, where are YOU going ? 459 00:55:11,298 --> 00:55:13,062 To the beach, where else? 460 00:55:13,062 --> 00:55:14,562 Sure. 461 00:55:21,388 --> 00:55:24,388 Jack. Jack, Jack!? 462 00:55:28,055 --> 00:55:30,265 Hi, Jack. 463 00:55:30,265 --> 00:55:32,020 If you want to go up, 464 00:55:32,020 --> 00:55:37,320 you must close the door. 465 00:55:44,531 --> 00:55:46,831 This is not your reciever error! 466 00:55:47,007 --> 00:55:51,903 as "colonel Jack Jones" 467 00:55:51,903 --> 00:55:56,980 as "major Sam Carter" 468 00:55:56,980 --> 00:56:01,828 as "Dr. Daniel Skywalker" 469 00:56:01,828 --> 00:56:06,521 as "Teal'f" 470 00:56:06,521 --> 00:56:11,308 as "Jonash Queen" 471 00:56:11,308 --> 00:56:16,106 as "Lord Hammucrappy I." 472 00:56:16,106 --> 00:56:21,088 as "Ninja blaffa (twice)" 473 00:56:21,088 --> 00:56:25,761 Army driver, Landlady, Politican, Politican's wife 474 00:56:25,761 --> 00:56:30,551 Thor, gen. Hammond, voice from heaven, voice of computer 475 00:56:30,551 --> 00:56:35,307 narrator Jean-Luc Picard, Geordi La Forge 476 00:56:35,307 --> 00:56:40,080 Story 477 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:44,972 Screenplay 478 00:56:44,972 --> 00:56:49,788 Edition 479 00:56:49,788 --> 00:56:54,522 Director of photography 480 00:56:54,522 --> 00:56:59,479 Director of photography asistents 481 00:56:59,479 --> 00:57:04,099 Music 482 00:57:04,099 --> 00:57:09,192 Music adviser 483 00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:13,742 Playwright 484 00:57:13,742 --> 00:57:18,617 Sound 485 00:57:18,617 --> 00:57:23,617 Visual effects 486 00:57:23,636 --> 00:57:28,668 Properties 487 00:57:28,668 --> 00:57:33,287 Assistant director 488 00:57:33,287 --> 00:57:37,687 Directed by 489 00:57:47,636 --> 00:57:52,436 With love and care produced by 490 00:57:58,244 --> 00:58:06,642 Hellooo, gentlemen, do you know how to get to the Prague Castle? 491 00:58:06,642 --> 00:58:12,642 I probaly dialed up a wrong number at ... that device. 492 00:58:17,432 --> 00:58:24,432 hmmm evidently not ... sorry ... help!